WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Well I had a trip to Six Flags St. Louis a few days back and for the most part it was a good time.  Here I will detail some of the things that were not so great about it.  Things got off to a decent start with the drive down.  Made pretty good time despite a lot of road work slowing me up here and there.  That's always important to me since I prefer to get to the park as soon as it opens and take advantage of the short lines that come with early access. 

About ten minutes shy of St. Louis I am cruising along at about 75mph when I notice a rather large pothole (and a few small ones, surrounded by rocky debris) just next to the yellow line to my left, which I'm sort of straddling foolishly.  I thought I caught it in time and corrected to the right a bit which probably allowed me to miss the hole with my front tire, but the back tire was not so lucky.  The rather loud "thunk" was a dead giveaway that I nailed it, and then when I began to swerve hard to the right, entering the other lane, I knew I was in trouble.  So I spend a few seconds trying to correct my path (and filling my jeans) while flying about the highway uncontrollably.  Once I slow down enough to regain control I finally hear the "BBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" sound signifying I did indeed have a flat tire to deal with.  A quick glance in the rearview clued me into the fact that the two cars that were just behind me at the point of impact had realized how close to death we had all just become had slowed down to a crawl and were now a good quarter mile back.  I can only imagine their viewpoint: "Better slow it down and watch this minivan spin into a barrel roll down the highway before bursting into flames.  Somebody hand me those cool ranch Doritos, this is a helluva show!"  Anyway, changing the tire was far more challenging a task than it should be for a 32 year old man, but I got it done in 30-40 minutes, so I call it a win. 

Upon arrival at the park we hit up a couple of coasters while the park is still slow, then grab lunch at the over-priced Panda Express.  Now, while Panda Express is over-priced, it is the deal of the century inside the park.  When you see signs at other places claiming "3 turkey legs and 3 drinks for only $40!" and "12 Chicken strips, basket of fries and 4 drinks! Only $45!", getting 3 entrees rice, and a large drink for 18 bones sounds pretty great.  Unfortunately, scarfing down a ton of Chinese food like a horse at a trough just before hitting the water park was probably not wise.  The longest line of the day, a 90 minute epic in what felt like 105 degree heat, came shortly after the meal and as I baked in the sun I quickly came to regret my decisions. 

Soon after we made our way back to the main park for more roller coasters, which are awesome.  I ignored the encroaching heat stroke and tried to enjoy myself.  Now I've loved roller coasters for years despite healthy fear of heights.  To me, the thrill ride aspect was enough for me to suffer through.  However, as I get older I have noticed a strong anxiety comes over me during that first climb to the high peak of the coasters.  Especially older, rickety ones that sound like they are being operated by Death himself.  I find myself spending that first 60 seconds or so trapped in my head imaging what would happen if the bar holding me in place came loose or the cart flew off the track on the first bend or any number of things that could go wrong did go wrong.  And the answer is always the same:  "If absolutely anything whatsoever goes wrong... you're dead.  You're fucking DEAD.  Nothing you can do will save you.  Just enjoy the 40 second flight of pants shitting terror to your imminent demise after which you will crash to the ground in a mangle of torn flesh and broken bone."  About then the climb is over, the first drop signals the beginning of the ride, and then I just think "WHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Anyway, overall it was a good time.